Ourselves

By Ariana Rossuck

it’s strange, isn’t it?
how our bones and our flesh and the blood vessels that
bring us life
cannot stand to be left alone with the apathetic brain that
occupies this empty being,
ourselves.
we fail to recognise the spontaneity that is within
ourselves,
in the way that we gaze into the mirror and forget the things
we have touched, the places we have
been, the people we have
fallen in love with, and those we merely
chose to ignore, or possibly to forget.
i wouldn’t know your story as
you wouldn’t know mine.
but I too have scars that fester in the presence
of my mistakes,
constantly prompting me to question why
we cannot live with the thoughts we’ve left to rot,
the things we want to say but
never do as if they are a sin.
the pain we choose to ignore as if it will stop hurting.
just because we ignore it,
does not mean the pain will go away,
so why not just confront it?
why not just embrace it?

you may call me insane for guiding you
towards a life that accepts embrace,
but what is so wrong about answering the questions
you constantly leave unanswered?
they don’t go away.
they never do.
i too, am unsure of why we deny
ourselves.
i don’t know much, but here is what I know:
answer the questions that keep you up at night.
think, and as much as you don’t want to,
never stop thinking.
resist the urge to ambitiously search that of people
who will never search you back.
you are tracing a map that will
never give you a destination,
only blank pathways that lead
you nowhere except back to your
starting point.
don’t you get it?
you are the starting point.

Ariana Rossuck

Ariana Rossuck is a Filipino-American living in Singapore. Writing takes up most of her free time, but often gets lost in her collection of untitled google docs. She loves her coffee, volleyball, sci-fi movies, and 18 unorganised Spotify playlists. She is another contributing creator of Written by the Youth.

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