when you proposed

By Samantha Wang

h

eyes soft 

heart open

h

a shooting star fell,

blazing across the sky

as it hurtled towards the earth

h

i remember thinking about

how willing i’d be

to walk to the ends of the earth with you

h

so the word fell out of my mouth

and into your hands

where you held it like a baby bird

h

your face lit up and

i realized

i could never leave you

h

you told me you were scared

that i’d say no

but

h

the world had been so cruel to us

and i needed you

just like you needed me

h

so you said

you wanted to walk to the end with me, 

too

***

when the day came

i saw you

and you never looked more beautiful

h

the smile on your face

bigger than it’d been in ages

it was like you were finally happy.

h

but seeing you like that hurt

because i couldn’t bear 

what we were about to do

h

so when you stretched out your hand

i couldn’t take it.

i hadn’t realized how much i wanted you to stay.

h

i begged you to come home,

that this wasn’t the way

and promised that we’d grow stronger together

h

you agreed but

guilt was eating away at me

i promised you eternity together

h

and i couldn’t do it.

what if this was another broken promise 

too?

h

that night

when i cried out an apology

you gave me one of your sad smiles

h

i woke up

with the bed cold

and a single letter in your place

h

sometimes i wonder 

if you were a shooting star

a meteor drifting aimlessly for too long

h

then when you collided with the atmosphere,

you lit ablaze and burned a trail across the sky

for me to wish upon

h

brief

beautiful

self-destructive

h

it’s been a week

and every thought i have is of you

h

but if i’m being honest

you were my only reason to stay

h

i know how you felt now

and with freedom just out of reach

h

because standing here

is the first time i’ve smiled since you left

h

i think you knew i was going to join you

i think i did, too.

h

Samantha Wang

Samantha Wang is a 15-year-old Taiwanese-American living in Singapore, but she isn’t really proud of being American at the moment. When she’s not playing basketball, you can often find her listening to music or searching for the willpower to do her homework. She loves all things horror – N0S4A2, The Institute, and IT are some of her favorite books.

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